Anything worth doing takes effort. The same thing applies to a good sex life. Don't treat your partner as if she's a vestal virgin. Share your feelings, wants, and needs with her. If you are reading sexy stories to masturbate to, bring your woman into it with you. You just might be surprised at her positive reaction. (You will know how fast to do this, some women will not respond, but most will surprise you.) A suggestion. If your sex life is non-existent, try wearing nothing to bed. And when you wake up with that erection in the morning, bring your partners hand to it. Get her used to touching it, try to make it a morning tradition. If she loves you, she'll start doing it more and more, you just have to get her used to the idea. This is a good way to get her thinking about sex during the day.

Another suggestion, whenever the mood strikes (and you have an erection) and when it seems right, expose it. Let her see you erect. A good time is at night, when you are going to bed. She's brushed her teeth and is laying in bed while you're in the bathroom. Get hard, then walk to your side of the bed sporting your lust for her to see. At the very least you'll get a comment, and at the very best you'll get sex. Remember, you are the one that (during this period in her life) who must be the instigator.

One last note: Give her an orgasm. That will do the most to get her 'back in the saddle' again. Let her be on top, so she can control her own manipulations.

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Viva la vita
Lord of The Rings